Feelings
by SanctuaryAgent
Summary: He should feel something, but he doesn't.


He should feel something, but he doesn't. He knows he should feel more than the basic sadness, but he does not know why. He can't feel anything more that simply sad feeling, he can't feel sorrow, he can't feel anguish, he can't feel the loss, but he knows he should… he just can't.

xXxXxXx

"_Please Regina! I know you can find a way to save Marian!" Robin pleaded as he lowered himself to his knees and took a hold of the petite hands of the woman sitting on the trunk in front of him. _

_Regina shook her head and looked down at her hands which were now cradled in Robin's. "No Robin, I can't." She took a shaky breath and looked around the clutter that was her vault. "I have tried every potion and spell that I know, I've read every book and tome and I have found nothing to help Marian."_

"_But you will." Robin said with a hopeful smile as he tried to catch her eyes with his own. "I know you will, you haven't given up yet Regina. Don't give up now, I believe in you."_

_At that the queen's brown eyes unconsciously looked up into the archers blue ones and within her chocolate orbs tears began to gather. She shook her head slightly and forced back the tears, "I haven't given up Robin." She said and struggled to keep her voice from failing her. "I… I've simply come to a decision." She said softly._

_Robin heard the slight stutter in her words and his eyebrows knitted together with concern, "What decision Regina?" He asked and for a long moment there was complete silence between the two adults sitting amongst the piles of books. "Regina, what have you decided?" Robin asked with a bit more urgency in his tone._

_Regina looked away, her dark hair acting like a curtain to hide her face as tears began to roll down her cheeks. She gasped silently and couldn't bring herself to look at Robin, not now. "It will save your family." Was all she could manage to get out before she was forced to mute herself to prevent a loud sob from escaping between her lips._

_Robin looked at her with confusion painted all over his face, his hands still holding onto hers as if he fears she might fade away. "Regina! What have you done?" He asked his voice thick with care and concern but also a strong urgency to mend whatever has happened to cause his soul mate to be so distressed. _

_With an unsteady exhale Regina forced herself to turn and face Robin, she knew that she could not be a coward in this moment; she was not a coward ever. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she met the archers gaze, "I'm sorry Robin…" She said and her voice broke slightly._

"_Sorry for what?" Robin asked as her lifted one hand to gently caress her cheek and wipe away her tears. "Regina you've done nothing to be sorry for." He said with a light hearted laugh and a smile to try and stop her tears._

_Regina leaned into the warmth of Robin's hand and closed her eyes, her brow furrowing. "It's not what I've done Robin." She paused and her hand rose to hold his hand against her face as she tried to preserve the feeling of his calloused yet gentle hand wiping away her tears. "It's what I am going to do." She admitted after several heartbeats._

_The archer looked at Regina and slowly but surely his smile began to melt away as he pieced together what she meant. "Regina, no!" He said sternly. "There has to be another way." His teeth clutched together as he spoke._

_The queen's eyes opened and her gaze settled on Robin's sky blue eyes, "It is the only way you can save Marian." She said as she managed to regain some control over her voice. "I already kept you two apart once, I will not do it again."She informed him as she rose to her feet_

_Panic flared within every ounce of Robin's being as he listened to the woman in front of him. He stood quickly and shifted so that he was closer to her, he needed to convince her. "Regina, your plan will never work, I will always love you, I will always be drawn back to you." He paused and took a gentle hold on her upper arms. "So don't make me forget you." He pleaded._

_Regina continued to gaze into his eyes which were pleading with her just as much as his words. Craning her neck upwards she leaned forward and softly pressed her lips to his. Robin immediately returned to kiss with a wave of relief washing over him, until she pulled away and his eyes opened and he realized he was absolutely frozen into place. "I'm sorry Robin." Regina said and she was trying so hard to keep from breaking down completely._

_Robin wanted to scream for her to stop, he wanted to make her realize that it wouldn't work, he could never stop loving her. But he couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he could only watch and listen. He could only stand by and do nothing as his true love prepared to give up everything they had for a woman who had called her a monster._

"_I promise it won't hurt, you won't remember a thing. You will wake up in your camp and be completely in love with your wife again. I promise you will have good memories; you will have a good life, you will have Roland and Marian… you will have your family." Regina said as she stood in front of him with tears in her eyes and a sorrowful smile on her face. "I will simply be the woman you see on the streets or in the diner; you will remember nothing of our time together, you will feel nothing for me… you won't be able to feel anything for me." She looked at him and saw the look of confusion in his eyes at her last words. "You won't be able to feel anything for me because… because your soul will not recognize me. In order for you to love Marian… you must love her heart and soul. So-" Regina was suddenly cut off by a sob. "So not only will I make your mind and hear forget me… but your soul as well." She finished and tears raced down her cheeks as she looked into Robin's eyes and saw the pleading within them._

_Robin watched her as he screamed internally. This couldn't be happening, he was sure he must be dreaming, Regina could not make his soul forget her. They were soul mates and now his would be made blind to hers, he was supposed to give Regina her happy ending and now she was giving everything to give him his. _

"_I love you Robin." Regina said softly. Taking a step forward she pressed her lips one more to Robin's and a tingling sensation that could only be her magic began to spread through Robin's being giving off a soft white glow. It was warm and comforting, like the gently and soothing heat that came from a hearth. Robin struggled to cling to any memory of Regina that he could, but the more he clawed to find one the harder it became to remember what he was searching for. His eyes closed and he began to drift off into dark and blissful serenity, his mind gently combed for any remaining memories of the queen and their time together, and his soul painlessly blinded to its link with Regina's._

_When Regina finally pulled her lips away from Robin's she was completely broken down. The archer was lying unconscious on the floor of her vault and she knelt over him, tears racing down her face and falling onto her scarf. She looked at Robin one last time as he lay there motionless except for the steady rise and fall of his chest; her soul ached for its mate that had been ripped away by her magic. _

_With a gasping sob Regina raised her hand and gently caressed Robin's cheek, the bristles of his ruggedly handsome scruff scrapping her soft skin. Then with a small wave of her hand white smoke engulfed the archer and when it dissipated he was gone, placed back in his tent at the Merry Men's camp. Regina let out an anguished sob and held her sides as she sat on the ground crying. She felt broken and like she would never be able to breathe again. As she lowered herself to lay on the dusty stone ground she sobbed and shook from crying, amongst her sobs she managed to softly cry two words, "Goodbye Robin."_

xXxXxXx

Robin watches as the coffin is lowered into the ground. He stands by his wife and son at the edge of the crowd gathered in the cemetery staring at the black box as it slowly moves six feet under. Those closest to the grave are all crying, those such as Snow White, and Emma Swan, there is also the young boy Henry. Robin's heart goes out to them, especially to the boy, no child should ever have to lose a mother.

He had heard stories of how it had happened; of course he himself hadn't been there to witness the death of the apparent 'former' Evil Queen. He himself had been out fighting the Snow Queen's minions with his Merry Men, but he like all others had heard of the Queen's sacrifice. He had heard how she, the Savior, and the Ice Queen known as Elsa had stormed the Snow Queen's layer. He had heard how they had show up just as the Snow Queen was enacting the cursed mirror in order to make the entire town commit mass genocide. And he had also heard about how the Evil Queen had battled the Snow Queen, fire against ice. But what most talked about, what he had heard most was that the Evil Queen had sacrificed herself. How she trapped herself in an enchanted barrier with the mirror when its curse was released, how she had absorbed the entire curse that was meant to destroy a town with hate, and how Emma Swan and Elsa had watched from outside the barrier as the Queen was torn apart by shards of her own refection, by self hate. Robin had heard about how it took hours upon hours of torture before the Queen's heart had shattered into millions of pieces just as the glass of the mirror had done.

And now Robin stood at the funeral of the fallen hero and he couldn't feel a thing. What was wrong with him, why was it that he could feel sadness, but only at the most basic level. His blue eyes settled on the crying forms of Emma Swan and Elsa, the two women who had stayed by the Queen's side outside the barrier until her end. He understood their tears, they had watched it happen. He then looked over to his own Merry Men and saw some of them crying, if baffled him that such men as these would cry for this. They had been miles away from the Queen when she died, and as far as Robin knew, none of his Merry Men had ever liked the Queen, in fact he had thought they despised her after years of having bounties on their heads because of her. But what confused Robin most of all was Marian's tears, though they were silent Robin could see them steadily rolling down her face. Marian had died at the Evil Queen's hands and now was crying at the Queen's funeral.

So what was wrong with Robin, he knew he should feel something. He knew he was missing something. He knew he should feel more than just sad, he should feel more than just the sadness you feel when you hear of someone's great grand uncle that you never met passing away. He just couldn't.

Robin knew he should feel more than this, but he just can't.

Robin knew he should be sadder than this, he just couldn't remember why…

**A/N: Okay folks! So I don't own OUAT *cries* but I LOVE IT SO MUCH! And I hope you …enjoyed this story… if that's even possible. Anyways… let me know what you thought! Please review and comment! I love comments and reviews! Thank you so much for reading! Love you all!**


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